The Talk
by Kaity Hazel-Lutz
Summary: Bella and Edward decide to have a talk with Renesmee...the kind that only a parent can give.


A/N: uhhhhh…hi! This is my very first fanfiction, so flames would be pretty understandable. So I kind of expect anything in that department for now.

Summary: Bella and Edward decide to have a talk with Renesmee… the kind only a parent can give.

OHMYGOSHIT'SEDWARDANDBELLAANDRENESMEEIWONDERWHAT'LLHAPPEN

(Bella P.O.V.)

I was not looking forward to this.

Give me 20 vampires bent on killing all of us, run me over with a bulldozer, or make me subject to Emmett's teasing and ridicule all day, but please _do not _make me do this!

I walked alongside Edward to my sweet, innocent baby girl's room repeating this over and over in my mind. I didn't want to be the one to corrupt my poor three year old, but truth be told, she had to know. When I say three, that's only her age. In equivalency, she was 10, which meant it was time. Time for my little Nessie to hear this, to understand.

Edward decided it was time for this when Nessie chased Jacob around the house with her lips puckered out screaming, "I'M GOING TO GET YOU! YOU'RE GETTING YOUR CHEEK KISSED WHETHER YOU LIKE IT OR NOT!" That was the last straw. She had to know this information. The information that I had always hated hearing from my mother or father.

We were at the door now; there was no turning back. I knocked very softly, knowing she would hear me.

"Come in," she said to the closed door. _She must be reading, _I thought.

"Renesmee," Edward said, "we'd like to talk to you." We sat down on her bed.

"Honey," I began. I tried to continue, I honestly did! However words escaped me at the moment. How do I even begin? How do parents do this? It's extremely exhausting! I don't even know what I should say to her! So many questions ran through my mind that I had to lie down. I was still stuttering, trying to figure out what to say. Edward looked at me, his eyes filled with concern. Renesmee's face held confusion. She honestly had no idea what was going on, let alone why her mother was stuttering, and her father, though slightly concerned, grew more amused by the second.

"Bella, why don't you let me talk?" he said; trying not to laugh. "Nessie," he started. He didn't finish. He ended up on the bed right next to me, looking just as tired.

"Ha!" I laughed, "It's not so easy is it, _is it_?" I shamelessly taunted. "You couldn't do any more than I could Edward! This is hard! Admit it! You need my help because I've heard this before!"

"As I recall Bella," he retorted, "you couldn't say much either, so why should you help?"

"Because I'm over it now," I responded, my tone a little sarcastic.

"Fine. Please continue oh master of all things uncomfortable," he said, twice as sarcastic. I looked at Renesmee, and she looked as if she were about to burst out laughing at us at any second.

"Are you guys going to talk to me, or can I go get a glass of orange juice?" she inquired. She had obviously inherited the same sarcasm.

"Alright missy, park your butt right there and shush," I said, "Now your father and I have something important to talk about." She immediately sat. She could tell that something was going to happen. "We know that you like Jacob," she blushed, "and we understand that. But there are some things that you need to know about," I decided for the classic approach," When a man and a woman love each other…" I heard Edward chuckle, "Sometimes kissing isn't enough. Sometimes they want to do_...other_…things, and this is what I'm going to talk to you about today…"

"Oh my gosh Mom! You're not trying to talk to me about sex, are you?" she half shouted. "I already know about that stuff!"

"How? We never talked about it!" behind me Edward's chuckle had turned into full-blown laughter. I turned and glared at him; he didn't stop.

Renesmee groaned, and then touched my face. I was flooded with images of Edward and Nessie, sitting on her bed with a sex education book; talking about it.

I saw red.

"EDWARD!" I ran after him through the house, him gaining with his speed, me falling slightly behind. I pushed myself just a little bit farther and tackled him to the forest floor.

"You have to admit it was funny," Edward said nervously when he saw my mischievous smirk. I laughed without humor. He chuckled shakily.

"That was a nice acting job," I said sweetly, "I loved the part where you pretended to be frustrated, _darling_." I let out a menacing growl. I looked down at his fear filled eyes. I loved that I could scare him. It made me feel powerful. I climbed off of him.

"Does this mean I'm forgiven?" he asked hopefully.

"Far from it_ baby_," I said maliciously, "your punishment has just begun." I let down my shield for a moment so he could hear what it was.

"NOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!" he cried helplessly. Oh yes. Not only did he have to eat all of the leftovers of Nessie's birthday cake, (which she and Jacob had eaten most of) but he had to clean the _entire_ Cullen household _and _our cottage _without_ vampire speed. I guessed it would take him the whole night. Which meant he didn't get to be next to me that night either; another punishment.

I walked away. Edward Cullen was in soooo much trouble.

HAHAEDWARDGOTINTROUBLEWITHBELLAANDNOWHEDOESN'TGETANY!SOTHERE!

So? Good? Bad? Love it? Hate it? Want to rip it to tiny, unrecognizable pieces? Tell me all about it in a review! Remember, I'm a newbie, so go a _little_ easy? Please? With sugar on top?

Peace, Love, and Silliness :],

Kaity Hazel-Lutz


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